1 00:00:01,052 --> 00:00:05,132 Behold the Quantum Flux. A magic portal to the past, 2 00:00:05,147 --> 00:00:07,967 what some might call a "Time Machine." 3 00:00:08,139 --> 00:00:09,952 This is where you guys go "Oooh." 4 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,031 - No, thank you. - Just get on with it. 5 00:00:11,088 --> 00:00:12,252 "Ooh," indeed. 6 00:00:12,310 --> 00:00:14,537 I'm throwing Dad and Gloria's 10th anniversary party, 7 00:00:14,595 --> 00:00:16,052 and Phil is part of the entertainment. 8 00:00:16,087 --> 00:00:18,155 I'm gonna make Gloria seemingly dematerialize, 9 00:00:18,213 --> 00:00:19,983 then wondrously travel back through time, 10 00:00:20,041 --> 00:00:22,225 and then rematerialize in her wedding dress. 11 00:00:22,327 --> 00:00:23,812 She's gonna change her clothes in a box. 12 00:00:23,869 --> 00:00:25,520 This is why I'm nervous about you introducing me. 13 00:00:25,577 --> 00:00:27,662 I'm kidding! You're gonna be great. 14 00:00:27,787 --> 00:00:30,678 He better be great. I want Dad and Gloria's party 15 00:00:30,736 --> 00:00:31,874 to be perfect. 16 00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:33,858 I was kind of a pill at their wedding. 17 00:00:33,916 --> 00:00:35,912 I hadn't fully accepted Gloria yet. 18 00:00:35,975 --> 00:00:38,702 And I feel a little responsible for what happened with my mom. 19 00:00:38,819 --> 00:00:41,412 I fed her, like, three drinks at the reception. 20 00:00:41,478 --> 00:00:42,890 You know, just to take the edge off. 21 00:00:42,947 --> 00:00:45,873 I'm Gloria! Kiss me! Oh, hey, kiss me! 22 00:00:46,858 --> 00:00:49,569 No, no! Oh, geez! Mom! Mom! 23 00:00:49,627 --> 00:00:51,202 She almost took the doorframe off. 24 00:00:51,334 --> 00:00:53,780 Into the wormhole she goes. 25 00:00:53,883 --> 00:00:57,764 Clocks turn backwards, calendar pages re-attach themselves, 26 00:00:57,873 --> 00:01:02,037 and behold! The beautiful bride! 27 00:01:03,108 --> 00:01:06,272 Guys! This isn't exciting to you? Use your imaginations. 28 00:01:06,330 --> 00:01:10,030 Picture me standing next to Gloria in a wedding dress. 29 00:01:10,327 --> 00:01:11,655 We're done. 30 00:01:12,428 --> 00:01:13,982 Mitchell, did you get the cake? 31 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:15,487 Yeah, yeah. I got everything. 32 00:01:15,545 --> 00:01:17,051 Okay, good. I'll have to meet you at Dad's. 33 00:01:17,108 --> 00:01:19,139 I need to go with Phil to pick up his magic box. 34 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:22,342 Oh, and, hey, you told Phil not to mention the trick to Cam, right? 35 00:01:22,537 --> 00:01:24,183 If Cam finds out, he's just gonna want us 36 00:01:24,241 --> 00:01:25,729 to do some kind of performance, too. 37 00:01:25,787 --> 00:01:27,561 Pretty sure I told him not to say anything. 38 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:31,101 ♪♪ 39 00:01:31,302 --> 00:01:32,575 Yeah, pretty sure you didn't. 40 00:01:32,633 --> 00:01:35,569 ♪♪ 41 00:01:35,627 --> 00:01:37,866 ♪♪ 42 00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:40,226 ♪♪ 43 00:01:40,284 --> 00:01:43,726 ♪♪ *MODERN FAMILY* Season 09 Episode 06 Title: "Ten Years Later" 44 00:01:45,483 --> 00:01:46,880 So, uh, what's all this? 45 00:01:46,938 --> 00:01:48,638 This is redemption. 46 00:01:48,756 --> 00:01:50,280 Maybe just a straight answer. 47 00:01:50,338 --> 00:01:52,131 The year was 2007. 48 00:01:52,228 --> 00:01:54,584 The wedding reception of Jay and Gloria. 49 00:01:54,699 --> 00:01:57,666 Our gift to the newlyweds was a duet performance 50 00:01:57,724 --> 00:01:59,428 - of "Islands in the Stream." - "Islands in the Stream." 51 00:01:59,485 --> 00:02:02,256 - A gift that would never be, because... - I remember. 52 00:02:02,359 --> 00:02:04,651 I fed my mom a few drinks at the reception. 53 00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:07,224 I really did not want to sing, so I figured 54 00:02:07,303 --> 00:02:09,771 if I got her a little tipsy, I wouldn't have to perform 55 00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:11,455 because I'd have to hold her hand... 56 00:02:11,513 --> 00:02:13,646 No, no, no! Oh, geez! 57 00:02:13,704 --> 00:02:15,031 Mom, Mom! 58 00:02:15,089 --> 00:02:16,919 And later hold her hair back. 59 00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:19,560 Well, your family has wondered for 10 years "What if?" 60 00:02:19,618 --> 00:02:21,849 Today, they find out what for. 61 00:02:21,907 --> 00:02:23,462 Mm, I don't know, Cam. 62 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:24,529 I'm a little rusty, 63 00:02:24,587 --> 00:02:26,743 and acoustics are never good inside a tent. 64 00:02:26,801 --> 00:02:28,865 And, oh! This party isn't about us. 65 00:02:28,923 --> 00:02:30,790 There's a whole slate of performers. 66 00:02:30,848 --> 00:02:32,080 Gloria's changing in a box. 67 00:02:32,137 --> 00:02:33,938 Which makes our medley all the more welcome. 68 00:02:33,997 --> 00:02:37,826 It's a medley now? No! No. In no way, shape, or form 69 00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:40,224 am I performing today in front of my judgmental family. 70 00:02:40,318 --> 00:02:43,732 - Fine. We'll just... go to the party. - Thank you. 71 00:02:43,849 --> 00:02:45,537 - No medley. - Exactly. 72 00:02:45,794 --> 00:02:48,427 - Wait. This isn't a trick... - Just three un-related songs. 73 00:02:48,485 --> 00:02:50,658 You just agreed. Rehearsal starts right now. 74 00:02:50,716 --> 00:02:53,592 - Jump in when you're ready. - ♪♪ Mid-Tempo Rhythm Plays... 75 00:02:53,633 --> 00:02:55,537 ♪♪ 76 00:02:57,161 --> 00:02:58,937 Why are you cooking? 77 00:02:58,995 --> 00:03:00,461 Are you allowed back there? 78 00:03:00,519 --> 00:03:03,120 It's our anniversary. Can't I do something nice for your mother? 79 00:03:03,194 --> 00:03:04,860 Maybe. 80 00:03:04,921 --> 00:03:06,087 Morning, beautiful. 81 00:03:06,145 --> 00:03:08,388 We have huevos, we have chorizo, we have tortilla. 82 00:03:08,475 --> 00:03:09,942 What we ain't got is Manny. 83 00:03:10,010 --> 00:03:12,990 Unfortunately, he's gonna be a no-show at the party today. 84 00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:14,325 Aha. 85 00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:15,714 What can I get you? 86 00:03:15,810 --> 00:03:19,107 Take that garbage away from me. I'm going for a walk. 87 00:03:20,561 --> 00:03:22,428 Manny was a big part of our wedding. 88 00:03:22,489 --> 00:03:24,957 He walked Gloria down the aisle, did the calligraphy. 89 00:03:25,060 --> 00:03:27,690 And I knew him not showing up to our anniversary party 90 00:03:27,748 --> 00:03:29,693 would put Gloria in a bad mood. 91 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,162 In some ways, I feel responsible. 92 00:03:35,576 --> 00:03:37,169 You're home again? 93 00:03:37,326 --> 00:03:38,565 You're in college. 94 00:03:38,623 --> 00:03:40,080 You can't come back every weekend! 95 00:03:40,138 --> 00:03:41,705 - So no hug? - I love you, 96 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,839 but you're not making the most of your college experience 97 00:03:43,896 --> 00:03:45,127 by being here all the time. 98 00:03:45,185 --> 00:03:47,314 My father dropped me off my freshman year, 99 00:03:47,372 --> 00:03:48,964 and I didn't see him again till the spring. 100 00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,339 - You want to know why? - I don't know. 101 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:51,737 Something about dames and fistfights? 102 00:03:51,794 --> 00:03:53,576 Exactly. Too busy making friends, 103 00:03:53,638 --> 00:03:55,658 chasing skirts, and things of that nature. 104 00:03:55,716 --> 00:03:57,689 But your mother and I think it's bad for you 105 00:03:57,747 --> 00:03:58,869 to be here all the time. 106 00:03:58,927 --> 00:04:01,174 So hit the road, and we'll see you at Thanksgiving. 107 00:04:01,232 --> 00:04:02,838 Wait. I'm banned from my house? 108 00:04:02,896 --> 00:04:04,716 Don't think of it that way. 109 00:04:04,826 --> 00:04:06,513 You're banned from my house. 110 00:04:08,841 --> 00:04:11,622 Technically, Gloria was not in on this decision, 111 00:04:11,779 --> 00:04:13,466 in the sense that... 112 00:04:13,677 --> 00:04:15,818 she was not in on this decision. 113 00:04:16,458 --> 00:04:17,990 Ruff, ruff, ruff! 114 00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:21,146 I was a little grumpy. 115 00:04:21,310 --> 00:04:24,818 I had agreed to do this magic trick at the party with Phil. 116 00:04:24,943 --> 00:04:28,787 I go into a box, and then I come out in my wedding dress. 117 00:04:29,029 --> 00:04:30,322 But there was a problem. 118 00:04:30,505 --> 00:04:31,692 Pull! 119 00:04:31,750 --> 00:04:33,724 She won't budge! 120 00:04:33,927 --> 00:04:37,496 The only logical explanation is that somebody snuck into my closet 121 00:04:37,564 --> 00:04:39,464 and shrunk my wedding dress. 122 00:04:39,701 --> 00:04:41,869 Like, probably my sister. 123 00:04:41,927 --> 00:04:43,127 So for the past week, 124 00:04:43,185 --> 00:04:45,193 I've had to, like, get even skinnier 125 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:47,294 than I was at my wedding. 126 00:04:47,703 --> 00:04:49,154 Oh, shut up. 127 00:04:52,939 --> 00:04:54,283 Be cool. 128 00:04:54,341 --> 00:04:55,471 Phil, it's a magic shop. 129 00:04:55,544 --> 00:04:57,697 I'm the coolest person that's ever been in here. 130 00:05:00,685 --> 00:05:01,880 Oh! 131 00:05:03,091 --> 00:05:04,576 How does he do it? 132 00:05:04,792 --> 00:05:06,451 I'm kidding. I know how he does it. 133 00:05:06,521 --> 00:05:08,846 Claire, meet the legendary Mister Ekshun. 134 00:05:08,904 --> 00:05:11,716 - Hello. - And what's this behind your ear? 135 00:05:11,849 --> 00:05:13,807 Oh, just some sweater fluff. 136 00:05:13,865 --> 00:05:16,896 Well, the place looks great. Can you imagine coming here every day? 137 00:05:16,958 --> 00:05:18,794 I wish it was every day. 138 00:05:18,872 --> 00:05:21,775 I have less and less time for the old Illusionatorium, 139 00:05:21,833 --> 00:05:23,649 with all the road jobs I still book. 140 00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,416 Would you mind quickly walking me through 141 00:05:25,474 --> 00:05:27,341 - the Quantum Flux Illusion? - Uh-huh. 142 00:05:27,430 --> 00:05:31,786 Well, according to magic bylaws, I can't disclose the secret 143 00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:35,025 in the presence of a non-licensed magician. 144 00:05:35,083 --> 00:05:37,119 Not a problem. I can just step outside. 145 00:05:37,177 --> 00:05:40,638 Nonsense! We prepare for such things. 146 00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:44,326 Aaaah! The old sensory-deprivation helmet. 147 00:05:44,384 --> 00:05:45,799 - Oh! - I put that baby on, 148 00:05:45,857 --> 00:05:47,744 it's almost like I don't have roommates. 149 00:05:47,802 --> 00:05:49,724 Yeah, I, like I said, could just step out... 150 00:05:49,794 --> 00:05:51,318 Outside would be fine. 151 00:05:52,646 --> 00:05:55,818 - She's lovely. - Yeah. I'm super lucky. 152 00:05:56,474 --> 00:05:58,638 Thank you so much for helping me with this. 153 00:05:58,716 --> 00:06:01,294 Are you kidding? I wouldn't have this life 154 00:06:01,372 --> 00:06:03,041 if you hadn't turned down the magician gig 155 00:06:03,099 --> 00:06:04,947 on that Ixtapa cruise years ago. 156 00:06:05,005 --> 00:06:06,775 What? I-I was never offered that job. 157 00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:09,752 Yeah, they said they called you and never heard back, 158 00:06:09,810 --> 00:06:11,583 so they moved on to me. 159 00:06:11,686 --> 00:06:13,372 I never got that call! 160 00:06:13,430 --> 00:06:14,447 Oh! 161 00:06:14,516 --> 00:06:17,064 I couldn't breathe! I couldn't breathe! 162 00:06:17,122 --> 00:06:19,427 Well, you forgot to turn on the ventilator. 163 00:06:19,552 --> 00:06:20,904 That was supposed to be my job? 164 00:06:21,098 --> 00:06:22,119 No. 165 00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:24,677 This was supposed to be my job. 166 00:06:25,506 --> 00:06:26,807 I look stupid. 167 00:06:26,865 --> 00:06:28,877 Hey, you see what a bad mood your mother's in? 168 00:06:28,935 --> 00:06:31,122 That's because she misses Manny. Today, you're Manny. 169 00:06:31,251 --> 00:06:32,857 But wouldn't she miss Joe then? 170 00:06:32,927 --> 00:06:34,025 Don't overthink. 171 00:06:34,083 --> 00:06:36,033 Just go in there, act all heartsick, 172 00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:37,972 and tell her you want to have high tea. 173 00:06:39,927 --> 00:06:43,154 Hey, Mom. Why are girls such a mystery? 174 00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:44,502 Have a scone! 175 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,357 Get out of here. I cannot even look at that. 176 00:06:49,297 --> 00:06:50,490 Yikes! 177 00:06:50,787 --> 00:06:53,396 Shake it off. That's okay. That's a good first try. 178 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,066 Go grab his pan flute! 179 00:06:57,021 --> 00:06:58,707 How's my bride? 180 00:06:59,068 --> 00:07:01,240 Ay! So big now. 181 00:07:01,302 --> 00:07:03,041 I know. It snuck up on me, too. 182 00:07:03,099 --> 00:07:05,599 But remember, letting go is a natural part of life. 183 00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:07,971 No. It's terrible, Jay. 184 00:07:08,029 --> 00:07:11,802 And sending Joe in here with scones made it worse! 185 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,396 Silencio, Fulgencio! 186 00:07:16,990 --> 00:07:21,709 ♪ That old black magic ♪ ♪ has me in its spell ♪ 187 00:07:21,802 --> 00:07:25,835 ♪ That old black magic ♪ ♪ that you weave so well ♪ 188 00:07:25,893 --> 00:07:28,674 - Take it, Daddy! - ♪♪ Drum solo... 189 00:07:29,788 --> 00:07:31,630 Oh! Hi, Mitchell. 190 00:07:31,665 --> 00:07:34,957 You know what? I def traded up with Lily. I'm glad you backed out. 191 00:07:35,024 --> 00:07:37,129 Lily, why don't you go rest your instrument? 192 00:07:37,215 --> 00:07:40,384 So, uh, just to break down this "foolproof" plan, 193 00:07:40,442 --> 00:07:42,106 you thought this would make me so jealous 194 00:07:42,176 --> 00:07:44,207 that I'd beg to be back in the act, didn't you? 195 00:07:44,270 --> 00:07:47,434 Um, no. I just found a younger talent that I clicked with. 196 00:07:47,606 --> 00:07:50,754 Okay, well, I look forward to watching you two perform. 197 00:07:50,903 --> 00:07:54,735 Well, I envy you getting to watch us perform. 198 00:07:55,044 --> 00:07:57,663 Lily, sweetheart, get in here! The rehearsal's not over! 199 00:07:58,184 --> 00:08:00,907 Y-Y-Yeah, time's a-wasting, my little thrush! 200 00:08:00,965 --> 00:08:03,126 And hurry! The party starts real soon! 201 00:08:03,223 --> 00:08:04,981 Okay, you know what? You win. 202 00:08:05,090 --> 00:08:07,762 You know I'm never taking the stage with that screech owl. 203 00:08:07,942 --> 00:08:10,528 Just sing. It would be very important for you. 204 00:08:11,036 --> 00:08:12,376 - For me? - Yes. 205 00:08:12,434 --> 00:08:16,520 Your family has been entranced by my performances many times. 206 00:08:16,614 --> 00:08:18,848 I don't need this, but over the last 10 years, 207 00:08:18,911 --> 00:08:21,938 I've watch you shrink in their presence. 208 00:08:22,070 --> 00:08:23,565 And you love to sing. 209 00:08:23,672 --> 00:08:24,695 I like it fine. 210 00:08:24,753 --> 00:08:26,185 And when we go out, you're the first person 211 00:08:26,242 --> 00:08:29,156 to grab the karaoke mic and scat the night away, 212 00:08:29,214 --> 00:08:31,703 and you're good at it. You know what people are calling you? 213 00:08:31,766 --> 00:08:32,844 Mnh-mnh. 214 00:08:32,981 --> 00:08:34,081 "Fella Fitzgerald." 215 00:08:34,149 --> 00:08:35,445 They do not! 216 00:08:35,578 --> 00:08:36,758 Yes, they do. 217 00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:39,663 And just once, I would love to watch your talent soar 218 00:08:39,721 --> 00:08:42,388 in front of your family and shut them up for good. 219 00:08:42,446 --> 00:08:44,299 - But if you don't want to... - You know what? Screw it. 220 00:08:44,356 --> 00:08:45,879 I don't even care that I'm mostly sure you're 221 00:08:45,936 --> 00:08:47,930 manipulating me right now. We're doing this. 222 00:08:47,988 --> 00:08:49,747 I knew you'd come around. Welcome back to the act. 223 00:08:49,804 --> 00:08:52,059 Okay, now, this is a bit much for me. 224 00:08:52,145 --> 00:08:53,708 So... 225 00:08:56,457 --> 00:08:59,364 Hey, Beardy. Have you seen Manny Delgado? 226 00:08:59,496 --> 00:09:01,856 I think the make-out king is a little occupied. 227 00:09:07,489 --> 00:09:09,801 Have you no respect for the ascot?! 228 00:09:11,121 --> 00:09:12,274 What are you doing here? 229 00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,310 I need you to come to our anniversary party. 230 00:09:14,378 --> 00:09:15,837 I thought I was persona non grata. 231 00:09:15,895 --> 00:09:17,923 Now I'm halfway into flagrante delicto. 232 00:09:17,981 --> 00:09:19,137 This, I don't miss. 233 00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:21,563 Your mother is upset you're not gonna be there. 234 00:09:21,621 --> 00:09:23,603 Well, then maybe she shouldn't have banished me from the house. 235 00:09:23,660 --> 00:09:25,992 I may have accidentally led you to believe 236 00:09:26,050 --> 00:09:27,688 that she was part of that decision, 237 00:09:27,782 --> 00:09:29,446 - when actually... - I knew it! 238 00:09:29,547 --> 00:09:31,804 I knew my mom wouldn't be that mean to her little papi. 239 00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:32,927 Manny? 240 00:09:32,985 --> 00:09:34,372 One minute, baby. 241 00:09:34,430 --> 00:09:36,368 - That's been working? - Shut up. 242 00:09:36,446 --> 00:09:39,146 So, I've been icing my mother for a week because of you? 243 00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:40,646 She must think I'm the worst son. 244 00:09:40,704 --> 00:09:42,153 Then come home and make her day. 245 00:09:42,211 --> 00:09:45,060 I'm not dropping everything to come home and bail you out. 246 00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,195 Tomorrow, maybe... 247 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,497 and I'm telling her you're the reason 248 00:09:47,555 --> 00:09:48,732 - I haven't been around. - Hold on. Hold on. 249 00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:50,252 It's better if she hears it from me. 250 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:51,576 I just have to spin it 251 00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,948 as if it's something I did in your best interest. 252 00:09:54,006 --> 00:09:56,846 And I'm supposed to back that up like I'm somehow better off because... 253 00:09:56,904 --> 00:09:59,996 - Where'd you go, baby bear? - Coming, baby bear. 254 00:10:00,059 --> 00:10:02,176 You're welcome. But two baby bears? 255 00:10:02,274 --> 00:10:03,496 I'm new at this. 256 00:10:04,465 --> 00:10:06,743 - Hey, Claire. Quick question. - Uh-huh. 257 00:10:06,801 --> 00:10:09,832 I see that you only have Mitch and I down for one song. 258 00:10:09,894 --> 00:10:11,471 Which isn't enough time to tell a story. 259 00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:14,254 So we would be willing to cut our set list to six songs. 260 00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:15,587 Cool. So we'll keep it at one? 261 00:10:15,645 --> 00:10:17,621 - Okay, so five quick songs, then? - One song. 262 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:20,477 Okay, I would be willing to close this right now at three songs. 263 00:10:20,535 --> 00:10:22,118 One quick song, and if you so much 264 00:10:22,176 --> 00:10:24,598 as begin to introduce the band, I'll cut the power off. 265 00:10:24,823 --> 00:10:27,157 Okay, that is not the way you talk to talent. 266 00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:29,433 Gloria? 267 00:10:29,606 --> 00:10:32,176 I'm in the bathroom! Come in! 268 00:10:32,356 --> 00:10:34,160 Oh, uh... 269 00:10:34,462 --> 00:10:36,061 It's... It's Phil. 270 00:10:36,325 --> 00:10:37,463 Come in! 271 00:10:38,058 --> 00:10:40,598 - Phil Dunphy. - Phil! 272 00:10:41,981 --> 00:10:43,569 Hey. 273 00:10:44,050 --> 00:10:45,848 The dress is in that bag over there. 274 00:10:45,927 --> 00:10:48,514 Oh, great. I'll hide it in the back of the time machine. 275 00:10:48,572 --> 00:10:50,338 You, uh... 276 00:10:50,396 --> 00:10:52,329 You got a big wrestling match coming up? 277 00:10:52,398 --> 00:10:53,964 I am having a bad day. 278 00:10:54,042 --> 00:10:55,693 I don't feel like doing the chitchatting. 279 00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:57,250 Not having a great day myself. 280 00:10:57,460 --> 00:10:59,048 Missed a phone call 15 years ago 281 00:10:59,106 --> 00:11:01,348 that could have launched a second career as a magician. 282 00:11:01,645 --> 00:11:02,832 I could've had it all. 283 00:11:02,988 --> 00:11:05,083 Realtor by day, magician by night. 284 00:11:05,177 --> 00:11:07,396 Just like the hero of that rock opera I never finished. 285 00:11:07,521 --> 00:11:09,630 Phil, this feels like the chitchatting. 286 00:11:09,716 --> 00:11:11,614 Well, I should probably get going. 287 00:11:11,747 --> 00:11:13,552 The steam's starting to pucker up my suit. 288 00:11:13,856 --> 00:11:16,005 Whew! Done. 289 00:11:16,146 --> 00:11:18,130 It's the same suit I wore to your wedding. 290 00:11:18,662 --> 00:11:20,395 Can't believe how loose it's gotten. 291 00:11:23,660 --> 00:11:25,190 And now it is my pleasure 292 00:11:25,274 --> 00:11:28,174 to bring up the first of our very special entertainers. 293 00:11:28,232 --> 00:11:32,542 Here to perform one song, Cameron and Mitchell. 294 00:11:33,737 --> 00:11:35,237 Just relax. 295 00:11:38,008 --> 00:11:40,390 Okay, now, remember... it's just like karaoke. 296 00:11:40,448 --> 00:11:41,547 Yeah, yeah, I-I got it. I got it. 297 00:11:41,604 --> 00:11:43,383 Sing a little and then throw to the drum solo. 298 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,080 Okay. Okay. 299 00:11:45,456 --> 00:11:46,929 ♪♪ "That old black magic" plays... 300 00:11:46,987 --> 00:11:49,284 ♪ That old black magic ♪ 301 00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:52,546 ♪ Has me in its spell ♪ 302 00:11:52,616 --> 00:11:56,538 ♪ That old black magic that you ♪ 303 00:11:56,730 --> 00:11:58,546 ♪ Weave so well ♪ 304 00:11:59,639 --> 00:12:04,231 ♪ Icy fingers up and down my spine ♪ 305 00:12:05,355 --> 00:12:10,143 ♪ The same old witchcraft ♪ ♪ when your eyes meet mine ♪ 306 00:12:10,244 --> 00:12:12,580 Take it, piano guy! 307 00:12:13,377 --> 00:12:14,542 ♪ Be-Ba-da Ba-Ba-da-doop ♪ 308 00:12:14,611 --> 00:12:17,447 ♪ Bop-da-boop Ba-da-baaa ♪ ♪ Ba-Ba-da-baa ♪ 309 00:12:17,525 --> 00:12:18,908 Look at him go. 310 00:12:19,096 --> 00:12:21,228 You know, he was raised a mama's boy. 311 00:12:21,299 --> 00:12:23,385 Now he's a strong, capable man 312 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:26,210 making nonsense noises that sound a lot like instruments. 313 00:12:26,322 --> 00:12:29,315 Let's hear that guitar weep! 314 00:12:31,405 --> 00:12:33,271 ♪ Waah-waah-waah ♪ 315 00:12:33,340 --> 00:12:35,307 ♪ Waah-waah-waah waaaaahh ♪ 316 00:12:35,375 --> 00:12:36,708 ♪ Waah-whoa ♪ 317 00:12:37,065 --> 00:12:40,229 And there is someone that we haven't heard from yet. 318 00:12:40,291 --> 00:12:42,612 Take a walk with me, Mr. Bass Man. 319 00:12:42,704 --> 00:12:44,337 ♪ Bo-Bo-Bo-Bo ♪ 320 00:12:44,484 --> 00:12:46,217 ♪ Bah-Bo-Bo-Bo da-bi-Bo ♪ 321 00:12:46,286 --> 00:12:48,720 ♪ Bo Bo Bo ♪ 322 00:12:48,789 --> 00:12:51,700 ♪ Bah-bah bah-doo-Ba ♪ ♪ Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba ♪ 323 00:12:51,833 --> 00:12:53,825 ♪ Wha, wha, wha, wha ♪ 324 00:12:53,894 --> 00:12:55,193 ♪ What do you do ♪ 325 00:12:55,262 --> 00:13:01,328 ♪ When faced with black magic? ♪ 326 00:13:01,797 --> 00:13:02,922 Hey! 327 00:13:03,601 --> 00:13:05,503 Thank you! Thank you so much! 328 00:13:06,218 --> 00:13:07,359 One more time! 329 00:13:07,598 --> 00:13:10,395 Okay. Nope. 330 00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:16,508 Thank you very much. 331 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:18,590 Uh, muy kind, pero I know you're only doing it 332 00:13:18,648 --> 00:13:19,828 to make me feel más better. 333 00:13:19,937 --> 00:13:23,218 Wow. Somebody's been listening to Rosetta Stone in the car. 334 00:13:23,422 --> 00:13:25,672 Cam, come on. Talk to me. 335 00:13:26,301 --> 00:13:28,530 What in the skibbity doo wop was that? 336 00:13:29,879 --> 00:13:31,462 Did you bring your own studio audience? 337 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:35,012 No. They're Gloria's family. Unlike some people, they feel things. 338 00:13:35,136 --> 00:13:37,410 Cam, look, I'm sorry. I got carried away. 339 00:13:37,547 --> 00:13:40,207 It seemed deliberately hurtful. Every musician got a solo 340 00:13:40,293 --> 00:13:42,230 except the one you promised to have and to hold. 341 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,770 - Aww! - Okay, do you mind? Thank you. 342 00:13:44,845 --> 00:13:47,660 Look, Cam, I-I'm sorry I forgot to throw it to you, 343 00:13:47,738 --> 00:13:50,082 but I-I was just swept up in the moment. 344 00:13:50,140 --> 00:13:51,973 It... That was... It was exhilarating. 345 00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:54,598 I-I... Did you hear those people cheering? 346 00:13:55,270 --> 00:13:57,162 Well... you were brilliant. 347 00:13:57,238 --> 00:13:58,999 Not the most generous of performances, but... 348 00:13:59,337 --> 00:14:02,505 I was completely free in front of my entire judgy family, 349 00:14:02,563 --> 00:14:05,430 and none of that would have happened without you. 350 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,481 Well, I think I hear what you're saying... 351 00:14:07,538 --> 00:14:09,938 that... half of that applause was mine 352 00:14:10,007 --> 00:14:11,773 - 'cause I transformed you. - Okay. 353 00:14:11,842 --> 00:14:13,809 Well, that's better than any 10-minute drum solo. 354 00:14:13,877 --> 00:14:15,677 So you'll tell everyone this was my doing? 355 00:14:15,735 --> 00:14:17,512 Of course I will. Come here. 356 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:20,630 Ooh! 357 00:14:23,173 --> 00:14:24,974 Okay, I'll spin the box two times, 358 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:27,288 you'll have 30 seconds to change into your wedding dress. 359 00:14:27,389 --> 00:14:30,548 Or I change into an old pair of pajamas 360 00:14:30,641 --> 00:14:32,372 to show the people how comfortable 361 00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:33,711 I have always been with Jay. 362 00:14:33,769 --> 00:14:35,118 Oh, yeah. Sure, Gloria. 363 00:14:35,176 --> 00:14:36,220 Why don't we just throw the script out 364 00:14:36,277 --> 00:14:38,298 and you can say whatever you want, 'cause the audience already thinks 365 00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:39,982 the actors make it all up anyway?! 366 00:14:40,074 --> 00:14:41,364 I'm sorry! 367 00:14:41,467 --> 00:14:42,500 What's going on? 368 00:14:42,558 --> 00:14:43,853 It's okay, Phil. 369 00:14:44,074 --> 00:14:46,258 He's very upset because 15 years ago, 370 00:14:46,316 --> 00:14:50,152 he missed a phone call for a job to do boat magic. 371 00:14:50,301 --> 00:14:52,282 That's why you've been sulking all afternoon? 372 00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:55,183 My life would be completely different if not for stupid fate! 373 00:14:55,241 --> 00:14:56,374 Fate? 374 00:14:56,879 --> 00:14:59,965 Let me ask you something. And there's a real lesson here. 375 00:15:00,590 --> 00:15:02,576 Do you like how your life turned out? 376 00:15:02,634 --> 00:15:03,579 Yeah, sure. 377 00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:06,095 Great family, steady work, bus benches? 378 00:15:06,548 --> 00:15:08,439 I got that call when you weren't home 379 00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:09,850 and never gave you the message. 380 00:15:09,908 --> 00:15:12,931 What... question mark, exclamation point?! 381 00:15:13,064 --> 00:15:14,701 Why would you do something like that?! 382 00:15:14,759 --> 00:15:16,229 To save him from himself. 383 00:15:16,287 --> 00:15:19,541 People sometimes need a gentle nudge to make the right choice. 384 00:15:19,599 --> 00:15:21,603 And, luckily for everyone, I'm here to do it. 385 00:15:21,661 --> 00:15:22,978 And not just for Phil. 386 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:25,049 I know you're wondering why Manny isn't here. 387 00:15:25,122 --> 00:15:27,150 - I b... - Who's ready for some magic? 388 00:15:27,236 --> 00:15:29,064 Phil, Gloria, you're up. 389 00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:33,635 - Honey, you okay? - Nope! 390 00:15:33,924 --> 00:15:35,570 Ladies and gentlemen, 391 00:15:36,251 --> 00:15:39,490 the scientists would have you believe that time travel is poppycock. 392 00:15:39,548 --> 00:15:43,095 But today, on the anniversary of the wonderful Gloria 393 00:15:43,153 --> 00:15:44,384 and Jay, 394 00:15:44,673 --> 00:15:46,512 I shall confound the skeptics 395 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,053 and transport this beautiful woman 396 00:15:49,251 --> 00:15:51,684 back in time to the day of her wedding. 397 00:15:51,912 --> 00:15:54,127 Gloria, get in the box! 398 00:15:55,657 --> 00:15:58,123 Drumroll, please. 399 00:16:03,022 --> 00:16:05,122 ♪♪ Drum solo... 400 00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:08,736 ♪♪ 401 00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:12,040 ♪♪ 402 00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:24,900 Whoo! Yes, drums! Yes! 403 00:16:25,728 --> 00:16:29,032 Anyway, watch as she disappears into the wormhole. 404 00:16:29,103 --> 00:16:30,673 That's my trick. I'm done. 405 00:16:30,915 --> 00:16:32,845 What do you mean, you're done? Bring her back. 406 00:16:33,064 --> 00:16:34,657 Okay, I'm ready! 407 00:16:34,845 --> 00:16:38,556 You made my dream disappear. Now yours is gone. 408 00:16:38,759 --> 00:16:41,048 IHola! I want to come out! 409 00:16:41,118 --> 00:16:43,611 Phil. Phil, you are Dede-ing my party. 410 00:16:43,689 --> 00:16:45,337 Your father Dede'd my life. 411 00:16:45,469 --> 00:16:47,771 He's the one who got the phone call 15 years ago 412 00:16:47,829 --> 00:16:49,486 about the magic job and never told me. 413 00:16:49,512 --> 00:16:50,459 Oh, Phil. 414 00:16:50,517 --> 00:16:52,888 Your family has always treated me like a child 415 00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:54,250 who can't make his own decisions. 416 00:16:54,307 --> 00:16:56,398 I couldn't even make an outfit choice for the wedding 417 00:16:56,456 --> 00:16:58,214 without your mother commenting on it. 418 00:16:58,307 --> 00:17:00,149 That's why I slipped her those three drinks at the reception. 419 00:17:00,206 --> 00:17:02,503 It's very warm back here! 420 00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:05,206 You need to let Gloria out of that box. And... 421 00:17:05,541 --> 00:17:07,349 my dad had nothing to do with that. 422 00:17:07,407 --> 00:17:09,696 I'm the one who told him not to give you the message. 423 00:17:09,844 --> 00:17:11,954 Did I miss the "Ta-da"? 424 00:17:12,016 --> 00:17:13,172 Phil, I'm so sorry 425 00:17:13,230 --> 00:17:14,647 . But your business was just taking off, 426 00:17:14,704 --> 00:17:16,483 - and the kids were really little. - No, no. I-I don't want to hear it. 427 00:17:16,540 --> 00:17:19,325 My own wife is the reason I don't have a career in magic, 428 00:17:19,383 --> 00:17:21,907 a thing I was born to do?! 429 00:17:29,055 --> 00:17:30,388 Look at me! 430 00:17:30,446 --> 00:17:33,071 I haven't changed in 10 years! 431 00:17:33,974 --> 00:17:35,073 - Aaah! - Oh! 432 00:17:35,142 --> 00:17:36,508 Aah! 433 00:17:41,538 --> 00:17:42,764 Gloria! 434 00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:45,139 You came! Thank God! 435 00:17:45,308 --> 00:17:46,474 Not because of you. 436 00:17:46,543 --> 00:17:49,280 I couldn't enjoy my time with Denise knowing my mother needed me. 437 00:17:49,350 --> 00:17:50,983 I mean, I enjoyed it a little. 438 00:17:51,093 --> 00:17:53,410 She's a dance major trying to replace food with affection. 439 00:17:53,468 --> 00:17:54,624 I really don't care. 440 00:17:54,795 --> 00:17:55,894 Gloria! 441 00:17:57,881 --> 00:17:59,378 I have a surprise for you! 442 00:17:59,436 --> 00:18:01,179 - I'm here! - Okay. 443 00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:03,206 I was kind of expecting a bigger reaction. 444 00:18:03,264 --> 00:18:05,582 Yeah, I thought for sure Manny being here would tip the scales. 445 00:18:05,639 --> 00:18:09,046 No! I don't need anyone to do that for me! 446 00:18:09,426 --> 00:18:10,825 Just leave me alone. 447 00:18:10,887 --> 00:18:12,847 What kind of sick game are you two playing? 448 00:18:12,905 --> 00:18:14,757 Do you have any idea what I gave up to be here? 449 00:18:14,856 --> 00:18:16,491 What's going on with you, Gloria? 450 00:18:17,507 --> 00:18:20,190 This dress doesn't fit me anymore! 451 00:18:20,323 --> 00:18:21,581 That's it?! 452 00:18:21,870 --> 00:18:23,823 I drove all the way to Manny's dorm for nothing? 453 00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:26,073 Oh, because you've made the sacrifice today. 454 00:18:26,517 --> 00:18:28,495 You don't understand. 455 00:18:28,714 --> 00:18:33,573 I tell people that I work hard to stay fit and to stay young, 456 00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:36,977 but the reality is that I barely do anything. 457 00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:39,909 But now my body is getting... 458 00:18:41,550 --> 00:18:43,743 - Bigger? - How dare you! 459 00:18:44,569 --> 00:18:45,902 But yes. 460 00:18:46,019 --> 00:18:48,586 But I've always looked a certain way. 461 00:18:48,655 --> 00:18:51,823 And now that I don't, then what am I? 462 00:18:52,081 --> 00:18:56,261 Just a self-trained hairdresser with a hot-sauce business. 463 00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:57,749 You still have that? 464 00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:01,910 Gloria, you're so much more than how you look. 465 00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:05,597 That's what you say to people that are not that pretty anymore. 466 00:19:05,722 --> 00:19:06,933 Are you insane? 467 00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:09,776 You could be my age and 30 pounds heavier, 468 00:19:09,854 --> 00:19:12,511 and you would still be unbelievably out of my league. 469 00:19:12,659 --> 00:19:15,847 Listen, you gain a couple... who cares? 470 00:19:16,065 --> 00:19:17,878 These have been the best 10 years of my life. 471 00:19:17,979 --> 00:19:21,373 I'm in it for every pound, every wrinkle, 472 00:19:22,208 --> 00:19:23,474 every gray hair. 473 00:19:23,710 --> 00:19:26,477 Aww! 474 00:19:33,792 --> 00:19:35,705 Come on! 475 00:19:37,253 --> 00:19:39,242 Let's go. Get in the car. 476 00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:41,060 - Where are we going? - Don't worry about it. 477 00:19:41,253 --> 00:19:44,339 Oh. Why should I start making my own decisions now? 478 00:19:48,464 --> 00:19:50,659 I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the job. 479 00:19:50,768 --> 00:19:52,628 You're just such a "Go for it" kind of guy, 480 00:19:52,686 --> 00:19:54,339 and I love that about you, 481 00:19:54,425 --> 00:19:56,546 but in that case, we had three little kids, 482 00:19:56,604 --> 00:19:58,237 a mortgage, and I was nervous. 483 00:19:58,295 --> 00:20:00,925 You could have at least included me in the decision. 484 00:20:01,042 --> 00:20:02,589 You're right! You're right. 485 00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:04,851 And I know "I'm sorry" doesn't begin to cover it. 486 00:20:04,909 --> 00:20:06,085 Why are we stopping? 487 00:20:06,143 --> 00:20:07,476 Well, our kids are grown, 488 00:20:07,534 --> 00:20:09,781 I run a company, you've got a great day job. 489 00:20:09,839 --> 00:20:12,714 I thought maybe it was time you picked up an old hobby. 490 00:20:13,226 --> 00:20:14,659 Are those... Uh... 491 00:20:15,650 --> 00:20:17,046 Keys to your new magic shop. 492 00:20:17,104 --> 00:20:18,956 Oh, my God! 493 00:20:21,075 --> 00:20:22,214 Go on! 494 00:20:22,339 --> 00:20:24,440 - What?! - I know! 495 00:20:24,498 --> 00:20:27,003 And Mister Ekshun was willing to let it go for next to nothing. 496 00:20:27,061 --> 00:20:28,843 Which, now that I think of it, 497 00:20:28,901 --> 00:20:30,550 is probably not a great sign. 498 00:20:30,659 --> 00:20:33,362 This is awesome! 499 00:20:33,534 --> 00:20:36,323 And "Mister Ekshun"... I just got that! 500 00:20:36,839 --> 00:20:38,453 It's kind of funny that you're making up 501 00:20:38,511 --> 00:20:39,836 for making a decision that should have been mine 502 00:20:39,893 --> 00:20:41,776 by making another decision for me. 503 00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:43,604 ♪♪ 504 00:20:43,737 --> 00:20:45,647 Do you want it or not? 505 00:20:46,097 --> 00:20:47,550 - I love you. - I love you. 506 00:20:47,659 --> 00:20:48,831 Mwah! 507 00:20:49,870 --> 00:20:50,969 Bylaws. 508 00:20:52,870 --> 00:20:55,789 ♪ Fiz-El-ah dwee-zop ♪ ♪ beh-zong de-doy ♪ 509 00:20:55,858 --> 00:20:57,109 ♪ Ske-diddly-Dee-daht ♪ 510 00:20:57,167 --> 00:20:58,625 ♪ De-daht de-do! ♪ 511 00:20:58,694 --> 00:21:00,893 ♪ Wow! Bam! Chow ♪ 512 00:21:00,956 --> 00:21:02,542 ♪ No-no-no! ♪ 513 00:21:02,667 --> 00:21:04,086 - ♪ Wow-wow-wow ♪ - ♪ Zep-za-da wow ♪ 514 00:21:04,143 --> 00:21:06,198 - ♪ Shah-wah wah-wah ♪ - ♪ Let's go let-dop wah ♪ 515 00:21:06,284 --> 00:21:07,886 - ♪ Wow-wow-wow ♪ - ♪ Head-No-dop ♪ 516 00:21:07,987 --> 00:21:10,031 - ♪ Wow-wow-wow ♪ - ♪ No-dop No-dop waah ♪ 517 00:21:10,089 --> 00:21:12,924 ♪ Diddly-bop finger-do by Ba-da baaaa ♪ 518 00:21:12,982 --> 00:21:16,495 ♪ Pa-Ra-Not-Out-Off ♪ ♪ By-the-bar ♪ 519 00:21:16,636 --> 00:21:18,503 - ♪ Father-Mother-Father... ♪ - It's getting late. 520 00:21:19,384 --> 00:21:20,595 Good night.